Humbug
by Storybookgirl77
Summary: Ted is amazed at the lack of festive spirit in the UCOS office. He sets out to help bring a little Christmas magic to his friends. Will he succeed? All characters from season 1 onwards may appear.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I do not own New Tricks. BBC television and wall to wall own all. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred.

Three Wise men?

Ted looked around the UCOS office decidedly fed up. Sandra was in a meeting, Sasha was out on inquiries with Dan, Steve was at an antenatal appointment with Charlie which just left him, Brian and Gerry in the office.

"It's December - two weeks before Christmas."

"Yeah." Gerry agreed. "So?"

"So what normally happens at Christmas in UCOS?" Ted looked around. "It's my first Christmas ere, what do you do?"

"Do?" Brian asked looking suitably puzzled.

"Yeah." Ted wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. "Is there a night out? A tree? Secret Santa? Cmon you must do something?"

"Well, we go for a drink after work on Christmas Eve." Gerry stated.

"You bunch of Scrooges! We go to the pub after work every Friday after work! That's nothing special! I am really going to have to sort you lot out." Ted shook his head as Brian and Gerry exchanged worried looks. Ted smiled happily. This was going to be a festive season his new colleagues and friends would never forget.

Xxxxx

A/N should I go on? Please review


	2. Chapter 2

Tree?

Sandra marched back towards the car with Jack a few feet behind her. The older man was keen to get back to the office whereas Sandra needed to let off some steam.

"Sandra?"

"What?"

"Did you believe her?" Jack walked towards the passenger side of the car as Sandra unlocked it. She shook her head as he got in the car.

"No."

"Why would she lie? It's her husband that died." Jack watched as Sandra nodded.

"Yeah, but she didn't seem that heart broken. The original investigation thought she was not to be trusted." Sandra started the engine as Jack shrugged. The Merry Widow as Gerry had nicknamed their star witness was strange but then, Jack rationalised that he was not the one to comment on strange reactions to grief.

"Back to the office?"

"Yeah." Sandra sighed.

Xxxxxxccccxx

"A girl." Steve smiled broadly as he and Charlie walked away from the ultrasound department of the hospital. Charlie nodded, clutching the scan photo in one hand.

"Aye, a girl."

"You ok?" Steve asked, suddenly concerned about his partner. Charlie nodded.

"It just. It's a bit overwhelming? I can't take it in. We were barely talking this time last year and now we're living together, I've transferred to the Met and we've a wee girl on the way." Charlie smiled slightly.

"I know. It's great though, isn't it? I know people will mistake me for her grandpa but I don't care. It's brilliant."

"You're 55 not 85. Charlie Chaplin had a baby at 90!"

"Maybe but he couldn't pick him up!" Charlie laughed. "We're doing ok."

"Yeah. We are." Charlie hugged him as a nurse stepped around them. Steve's phone blipped as a text arrived. Digging it from his pocket, he smirked reading the screen.

"It's Gerry."

"What does he want?"

"Listen to this. Save us! Ted has turned this place into Santa's grotto. Can you die from an overload of tinsel?"

Charlie burst out laughing.

"Gerry is a grinch." She smiled as Steve put his phone away. "Get back there and sort it out before Ted gives him a coronary." Steve nodded wondering exactly how he would manage to keep everyone happy this time.

Xxxx

A/N please review X


	3. Chapter 3

Office party

Ted looked around the office, delighted with the decorations. The tree dominated the office as Pat draped tinsel over the computer monitors as Brian and Danny walked back into the room.

"Nice tree." Brian looked at the six foot pine that had been daubed in tinsel and fairy lights. "Esther wanted one like that when our Mark was little."

"It's fake." Danny shrugged. "No pine needles. Good choice, has anyone heard from Sasha?"

"Yeah. She's on her way in." Gerry huffed. "Some of us are doing our jobs. You know? Detectives, detecting crimes."

"Humbug." Ted pulled a face.

"It looks lovely." Sasha stated as she walked it, pulling her coat off as she did. "You do this, Pat?"

"Ted said you lot needed a bit of Christmas cheer. I think e was right and all." Pat kissed her cheek as Sasha smiled. "Miserable sods you work with."

"They're OK. You get used to them." Sasha smiled.

"Don't think I want to." Pat sighed. "Pass me that mistletoe." Sasha handed him the plastic green plant.

"It's fake."

"Well, the berries on the real thing are very poisonous to dogs and you have little Scampi here." Brian smiled as the dog barked once, reminding them of his presence. Pat smiled. "Can't have anything dangerous with that little one running around."

"Appreciate it." Brian sighed.

"Are you ready for Christmas? Brian?"

"Esther does that."

"Cooking and stuff yeah. But you buy her a present?" Gerry leant back; clearly deciding that he was going to get into the spirit of the season. "Don't you?"

"Yeah. Well, she tells me what to get."

"Brian." Sasha folded her arms, "What was the last thing you went to the shops and bought Esther a present that she didn't tell you to buy her?"

"I."

"Go on." Gerry smirked.

"Er, does it matter."

"Yes!" Sasha laughed. "Jack would have bought Mary something." She stated as Sandra and Jack walked back in. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What was that about my Mary?"

"You bought her a Christmas present that she didn't ask you to buy." Sasha stated. Jack smiled.

"Mary loved Christmas." Sandra squeezed his arm before shrugging her cost off. "Of course I bought her something. Her birthday was the 23rd." He looked away sadly.

"So Brian should do the same."

"Yes. Clearly." Sandra stated. "What's that?"

"A Christmas tree." Ted explained.

"Right." She headed towards the kettle, deciding after a disastrous interview and returning to find her office had been turned into Santa's grotto coffee was in order.

"The Merry Widow did it. I'm certain of it."

"Sandra." Gerry raised an eyebrow. "She was ruled out of the initial investigation."

"Well? I'm ruling her back in." She poured milk into a mug of black coffee. "All this." She waved her hand to indicate the office decorations.

"What?" Ted asked.

"We've never bothered before. Why this year?"

"Because." Ted paused. "It's Christmas, my first with you bunch o miseries and we're alive and together. After what happened to Steve and Hollie this year I thought we all had something to be thankful for."

"Aw you soppy sod!" Gerry teased.

"Yeah, you're right." Sandra smiled. "But no Elf on the Shelf. Bloody creepy if you ask me."

"Gerry junior loved it."

"Horrible things." Dan agreed. "It's the eyes."

"So, er." Sasha raised an eyebrow. "The case?"

"Bloody Nora!" They turned to see Steve smiling in the doorway. "Looks fantastic! Well done mate." He shook Pat's hand. "Now Secret Santa?"

"it gets worse." Gerry huffed. "Och! Don't be listening to Scrooge Standing there. It's Christmas, Charlie and I know the bairn is ok and that we're having a girl. There's plenty to celebrate." Sandra crossed the room, hugging her friend.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks, let's just hope I don't mess up this time."

"You won't." Gerry got to his feet. "Pub?"

"Pub." The resounding answer led to them all getting to their feet. Pat smiled as his husband approached him, unnoticed by the rest of the team.

"You did great."

"Glad you approve."

"Pat. I'm sorry about yesterday. It's just, you know." Ted shrugged. "I'm an idiot."

"Yes, yes you are. But God forgive me you're my idiot. He smiled as Ted kissed him. "What was that for?"

"Mistletoe." Ted explained as Pat laughed.

"That wasn't for us. You know that."

"Yeah but it's tradition. Plus, someone has to test it out. You know, check it out before Sandra and Gerry find it." He smiled as Pat nodded.

"You think it'll work?"

"It's Christmas." Ted took his hand. "Anything can happen."

"Oi!" They jumped as Gerry peered round the door. "You pair coming or what?"

"Yeah, ok." Ted answered before ushering the other man out of the room. He hoped his plan worked. With only a few days to Christmas time was running out.

Xxxxxxx

A/N is anyone reading this? Please review


	4. Chapter 4

Secret Santa?

Ted sat quietly at the bar as he wrote the names of each member of the team on a piece of paper before carefully cutting them out and dropping the screwed up pieces of paper in a clean glass.

"What are you up to now?" Sandra smiled as she approached him. Ted looked up, smiling.

"Secret Santa."

She raised an eyebrow as he held out the glass. "Pick a name."

"Ok."

She did as she was told. "Who did you get?"

"It's a secret."

"Ah so you have heard of it." Ted smiled. "It's a bit of fun. Reckon that's what UCOS needs."

"Ok, but tomorrow is Christmas Eve."

"Yeah - and think about it. Jack is on is own. Gerry's kids may pop in but otherwise with their mums, Steve's got Charlie. You're on your own."

"Peace and quiet." She looked away.

"Sandra; we've all had a shitty year. Excuse the language but we have. I know you've had cancer, I know Steve nearly died. Dan's daughter was attached and Jack's heart condition means he's part time now. Mind you, he's nearly 80."

"Point being?" Gerry joined them as the barmaid wandered over.

"And I doubt Strickland will be seeing his kids."

"His ex wife took the kids to California to live. He's lucky to see them once a year. If it wasn't for Skype he wouldn't see them." Sandra sighed sadly. Gerry nodded.

"Glad I never had that with my girls. Would break me heart." He shook his head. "Tell you what? Ow about I take tomorrow off? Spend all day cooking and we can av a party at mine tomorrow night? Proper Christmas waifs and strays night?"

"You sure?" Ted smiled. Glad his plan was coming together.

"Yeah." Sandra smiled as Gerry rocked back on his heels. "There's a few of us."

"That's why I need to hav day off innit? Cooking for - let's see, Brian and Esther, you, Steve and Charlie, Jack, Ted and Pat, Strickland and Sasha, Hollie, Dan and Fiona. Ow many us that?"

"Twelve." Jack answered as he handed the barmaid the money for the drinks.

"O I always cook too much! What do you reckon? UCOS Christmas party at my place? Say seven o clock." Gerry looked pleased as Jack fished a name out of the glass.

"Ok." Sandra smiled, genuinely happy. "You're on."

Xxxx

A/N please review


	5. Chapter 5

Cook?

Gerry turned the hob on knowing the others would arrive quite soon. It was Christmas Eve and he had to admit he quite enjoyed the idea of everyone coming to his house. Paula and Gerry junior had already called in and promised to call the next day. Caitlin had phoned and Emily and Clarky had promised to ring the next day. He shook his head sadly, knowing that the majority of his friends that had visits and calls to look forward to. Swearing he pulled the curry off the hob and began preparing desert.

Xxxxxx

"You don't have to do this." Sasha stated as Strickland smiled at her. He had known Gerry long enough to know the ageing detective didn't really care if he turned up, he did care if Sasha did. She was UCOS - which in his eyes made her family.

"I know." He took her hand. "I want to. Cmon, it might be fun."

"Yeah." She paused.

"And you did say the kids are going to their dad this year. I'm at a loose end so why not? They all know we're together." He smiled as she blushed. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face he tilted her chin up so she had to look him in the eye.

"Yeah." She smiled slightly as he kissed her, not caring that they were in the middle of the street. Sasha broke the kiss before resting her hands on his chest.

"And we will have tomorrow alone. Just us." He spoke quietly as she closed her eyes before kissing her once more.

/

Jack looked around the partially abandoned UCOS office. The decorations Ted and Pat had put up made the place look a little more homely but he couldn't help wonder why the couple had felt the need to. It wasn't that he disliked Christmas it was just the whole season had lost meaning since the death of his daughter almost fifty years earlier. Mary had hated it ever since. Now she was gone he had managed to avoid it, knowing his brother and his wife wouldn't welcome a curmudgeonly old widower. He sighed heavily, knowing that there was no way Gerry was going to accept any excuse for missing the Christmas party at his house.

"Jack? You alright?" Sandra asked as she walked towards him. "Jack?"

"I'm fine." He looked up. "Just thinking."

"Careful." Sandra teased.

"Ok." Jack smiled slightly. "I'm not exactly a Christmas person. Do you think Gerry or the others would notice if I wasn't there?"

"Yes. I think he would. I would." She paused. "You thinking about April and Mary?"

"Aren't I always?" Sandra smiled. Jack and Mary were a real love story. She had never known a couple so in love as they were. When April had died as a baby they had both been devastated. Jack rarely spoke of his infant daughter but Sandra knew Christmas as a difficult time for him.

"How old would she be? April?"

"Now? 56. She's two years older than you." He closed his eyes. "At least these days it has a name. Sudden infant death syndrome. Cot death."

"Having a name doesn't lessen the blow." Sandra paused. "Does it?"

"No. And the years don't make much difference." Jack got to his feet. Sandra nodded. "What about your mum?"

"She doesn't want to see me. I called her earlier. I was going to go round there with her present but she has plans." Sandra looked away.

"Grace is an idiot." Jack snapped. "I'm sorry but she is. You are her only child, she got to see you take your first step, see your first word, start school, take your exams - all the things parents take for granted. And now? Well if she doesn't see what a brilliant woman you've grown into. If she doesn't see what I see then she is an idiot."

"Jack." Sandra blinked, her eyes filled with tears. "Jack."

"I'm sorry she had a stroke. I'm sorry your father died the way he did but she should never have treated you the way she has."

"Jack."

"What?"

"Come to Gerry's curry night." Jack nodded.

"UCOS is family isn't it?"

"In our own funny, dysfunctional way yes we are." Sandra smiled. "Cmon." She handed him his jacket before walking out of the office. Jack sighed before following her.

Xxxxxxxx

"Dad?" Hollie turned her chair to face Dan. "Are you sure? Do you think Gerry is going to want me there? I'm not a copper."

Dan smiled as he picked up his car keys.

"Neither am I, these days. You've met everyone." Dan explained. "Gerry invited you. But if you don't want to go. Is your boyfriend coming over?"

"Dad!" Hollie raised her eyebrows. "No! Darren and me aren't seeing each other anymore."

"Do you want to stay in? I'll stay with you?"

"Dad, no I'll come. Just didn't want to cramp your style that's all." She smirked as she manoeuvred her wheelchair towards the door. "I mean Fiona will be there. I wouldn't want to be the third wheel."

"Hollie Griffin." He shook his head, knowing he was going to have to keep his wits about him if he was going to keep his daughter and friends happy. Smiling, he hoped Hollie was right. He really wanted to see Fiona. At last he had some news, but he had to tell his only child first. But Christmas wasn't the time. He just hoped he knew when it would be.

Xxxxxxxxx

A/N what is Dan hiding? Please review


	6. Chapter 6

Secrets

Gerry looked around his living room, satisfied that his friends had all seemed to enjoy their meal. He loved cooking. He enjoyed everything about it from choosing the ingredients through to the clearing up afterwards. Leaning against the doorframe he watched Hollie and Sandra giggle over something he couldn't hear.

"She's a good kid." He spoke calmly as Dan nodded. The newer member of the team nodded.

"She is." Dan was clearly proud of his only child. "She's the strongest person I've ever known. I wish I had half her strength."

"Where do you think she gets it from? You numpty."

"Thanks."

"I mean it. She's a good kid."

"Thanks. Gerry? You ok?"

"Yeah." Gerry lied as he watched the teenager and the blonde woman chatting happily. Sasha and Esther joined them, both clearly enjoying themselves. "Its just this time of year."

"Difficult?" Fiona approached them. "Christmas and new year."

"Can be." Gerry frowned. "I've got Gerry junior and me girls. Esther and Brian are together but they've not had it easy. Strickland's ex has buggered off to America wiv is kids, Jack has no family, Sandra is on her own. It just makes you think."

"That's why this is such a good idea." Fiona smiled happily as Dan took her hand. "Dan? Can I have a word." He nodded before following her out into the kitchen. Gerry frowned slightly, unsure why the scientist was being so serious but he hoped it was good news.

"Gerry?" He turned to see Sandra watching him. "What is it?"

"Nuffin,"

"Gerry."

"I was just thinking,"

"Oh not you too. Jack was just thinking earlier."

"Christmas. Why have we never done anything about it before? Twelve years and a curry at my place is the closest we've got to a Christmas do."

Sandra smiled. She genuinely had no idea. It just hadn't occurred to them until Ted had mentioned it. He smiled back as Esther and Hollie laughed.

"What's so funny!"

"You and Sandra are under the mistletoe and ain't even noticed." Hollie laughed. "Useless. Romance is wasted on oldies!"

"Oldies!" Sandra pretended to be annoyed. Gerry smirked. "Us? Gerry yeah but not me. Am I?"

"Old! I'll show you old!" Gerry laughed before grabbing Sandra and kissing her soundly as the rest of the room fell silent.

Cxxxxx

A/N please review.


	7. Chapter 7

Kiss

Gerry but his lip as he stepped back from Sandra. Hollie stared open mouthed at the couple.

"Should oldies be allowed to snog like that? It's not decent!"

"Who do you think invented snogging?" Esther smiled. "Oh Hollie, you youngsters don't have a monopoly on love and passion. Look at me and Brian."

Hollie raised an eyebrow. Steve shook his head, smiling. He had known Ted was going to plant mistletoe anywhere and everywhere he could he just didn't think he'd dare do it in Gerry's home.

Xxxxxx

"What is it?" Fiona folded her arms as Dan looked away. Gerry's kitchen looked like an explosion in a curry factory but she was determined to ignore the mess and find out what was really going on with her partner. "Dan?"

"I."

"Is Hollie ok?"

"Yes. You've seen her. She's enjoying herself. Uni is going well, she has friends. There's even a chance we can get an assistance dog for her. You know? Like a guide dog but to help her."

"I know what an assistance dog is."

"And since she changed to going to the local uni I am finding it easier. I'm not so worried all the time. It's good having her home." Dan smiled slightly. "She's doing well."

"Then?" Fiona tilted her head.

"Sarah still wants to see her." Dan sighed. "She won't let me have a divorce unless I make Hollie go to the hospital."

"And Hollie doesn't want to see her mother?"

"No."

Fiona frowned. She knew he wasn't exactly the most open of men. She waited a moment as he stared at the fridge door.

"Hollie was born with cerebral palsy and ataxia." Dan sighed. "We were told that she would be horribly unwell most of her life, that she wouldn't walk, talk, sit up or do anything else."

"Well they were wrong."

"Yes, she came on leaps and bounds. Did well at hitting the milestones. Sat up at 9 months, talking by two. A bit slower than other kids but she got there. Physios, occupational therapists, educational assistants. They all worked wonders but it was Hollie herself that wanted to do it. She pushed herself."

"She's tough."

"She's had to be." Dan sighed. "But then, when she was thirteen. One night I was late home from work." He closed his eyes. "Sarah had tried to drown Hollie in the bath. She thought the devil had made Hollie the way she is."

"She was ill."

"She couldn't see what I saw. A funny, bright and slightly cheeky teenage girl." Dan paused. "The police arrested her but she was sectioned. Hollie recovered. Vowed she'd never see her mother again."

"I can understand that."

"I can't make Hollie see her. For one, she's a nineteen year old woman with her own mind. And two, I promised I never would." Dan sighed as Fiona took his hand. "I can't break that promise."

"You don't have to." Fiona smiled. "We're OK as we are. Yeah?"

"Yeah." He let her hug him as laughter from the next room broke the silence. "Yeah, but I can get a divorce. We've been separated seven years. I can get a divorce without her consent." Fiona smiled slightly before pulling him forward to kiss him.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Merry Christmas." Pat called as the clock struck midnight. Brian hugged Esther as Steve and Charlie kissed. Hollie smiled as Gerry and Sandra smiled shyly while Ted and Pat began pouring champagne for everyone. Jack yawned.

"You ok?" Sandra asked as she sat next to the young girl. Hollie nodded.

"Merry Christmas. Are you going to be on your own today?" Hollie asked. "Gerry says his daughters are coming to see him later."

"They are. I'll be fine."

"It's Christmas." Hollie paused. "I hate seeing Dad so sad. Christmas is not his favourite time of year. He tries to make it nice for me but I think he's lonely."

"He has Fiona now. And you. How could he be lonely?"

"I know but you're on your own and so is Jack."

"I'm ok." Sandra smiled. "Jack?"

"Don't worry about me." Jack smiled. "I've got a box set of Taggart and a box of chocolate. I'll be ok. It's one day. That's all."

"Yeah." Sandra looked away.

"Don't be daft." Gerry stated firmly. "You're staying here. I need someone to do me dishes. And as for my girls, Emily will pop in this morning but Paula, little Gerry and Caitlin will call in later. They'll spend Christmas with their mums."

"Gerry."

"Look, we've all ad a drink about from Brian and he can't drive anyway. So we are going to have to stay here at least until the booze wears off." He watched as Hollie seemed to look relieved. Scampie, who was still curled up at the fire hearth yawned. "It's almost one. Just stop worrying, ok?" He turned as he realised Brian had nodded off with Esther resting next to him. Jack looked equally tired.

"It is late." Ted agreed.

"So, I've got two spare bedrooms. Jack; you take one. Hollie, you have the other."

"Thanks." Jack got to his feet.

"What about Secret Santa?" Pat looked around the room as Hollie shrugged. "I guess we should wait for the oldies to wake up." Brian snored slightly as Jack shook his head.

"I can't get up the stairs." Hollie paused.

"Yes you can." Dan smiled before lifting her out the chair. "You're not too big to be carried up stairs, young lady." Hollie pulled a face as her father winced. "You were a lot lighter last time I did this!"

"I was eight!"

"True." Dan put her back in the chair.

"Charlie and Steve should take the room." Hollie decided. "Then you and Fiona can tell me about your plans." They exchanged glances knowing that the teenager was not going to let them get away with dodging the subject. Gerry smirked, it seemed the kiss between him and Sandra had been overlooked by everyone else. He knew there was no way he was going to forget it.

Xxxxxxxx

A/N please review


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